Hello Again
by McAbbyGirl4Life
Summary: Severus visits Lily's grave again and spends some time pondering by her graveside. One-shot. Chocolate recommended after reading.


**Yay, first Lily/Snape fic :) Though I really shouldn't have put a smiley after that because in reality, this fic is extremely depressing...no matter, no matter, I'm very proud of my work :D I am a HUGE Lily/Snape fan! They be right up there with Romione! Hope you guys enjoy this! In honor of Snape and Lily's birthdays which take place this month...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own nothing! And I've run dry of unique was of saying that...**

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><p><em>My sadness shows, <em>  
><em> As your name is carved in stone<em>  
><em> Can't erase the words so the reality grows<em>

_ I wish I died (I wish I died)_  
><em> On that night right by your side<em>  
><em> So just kill me now and let the good times roll<em>

_ Too late, too late_  
><em> I never said goodbye<em>  
><em> Too late, too late<em>  
><em> Can't even ask you why<em>  
><em> And now I'm wasting away<em>  
><em> In my on misery<em>  
><em> I hope you've finally gone<em>  
><em>To a place where you belong<em>

_**A Place Where You Belong, Bullet for My Valentine**_

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><p>January 30. It was a day colored by many emotions…anguish being the darkest stain. After venturing to her grave for countless years, Severus assumed that the pain would alleviate to some extent with time. He, however, was proven mightily mistaken. Here he was once more, on his knees in front of her grave, exhausted with grief, drained of emotion. No tears fell from his shadowy eyes, for he found that after all this time he had run out of physical ways to express his sorrow. Tears were so typical, so overrated, that they refused to assuage his suffering any longer. Now he had no outlets to express his torment. Instead the pain festered in his mind, embittering his thoughts, souring his demeanor, defiling all the person he once was with her.<p>

As he had done so many times before, Severus pulled out his wand and muttered a spell, conjuring a bouquet of lilies to place upon her grave.

The frozen, sadistic heart that beat within him had only ever opened to love once and never again. Now his reason for living lay lifeless under mounds of cold, callous dirt, blind to the permanent scars on his unresponsive heart, deaf to his screams, unfeeling of his desperate hands digging uselessly into the dirt, pleading with her to come back to him.

"Happy Birthday, Lily." Severus murmured to the headstone engraved with her name. He then derided his words with a caustic scoff. Talking to a grave…it was a pointless tradition that eased no pain and served no purpose. The bodies buried beneath the ground were unhearing, unfeeling, and unknowing. The souls that brought them to life had diminished long ago to a place know one knew. Lily could not hear him, could not see him, and could not feel him. But if she could…what would she think of him now? What would she say to the shell of her former best friend, whose soul was torn and marred by unspeakable acts? Would she be proud of the way he was suffering to honor her memory?

Sitting down on the ground, Severus lost himself in reminiscences of long ago. One memory in particular stood out. Him and Lily had to have been about 13, enjoying their summer break in the dilapidated playground that, do to its lack of occupants, was an excellent place to talk.

_"Sev, you know something?" Lily asked, swinging languidly from the monkey bars, "I've never seen you cry before. Why is that?"_

_Severus was not at all taken aback from her bluntness. In fact, he was quite used to it. If there were ever a person who wore that particular character trait well, it was Lily. _

"_I just don't make a habit of it, that's all," Severus replied simply, absently swaying on his swing. _

"_You didn't cry when you got a low score in you're Defense Against the Dark Arts test, you didn't cry when you busted your head open when I tried to show you how to sled last winter and you ran into a tree, you didn't cry when our dog died! You never cry!" Lily exclaimed in revelation. _

"_Hey, my score wasn't that low! And mum fixed my head up really fast, it barely hurt! And as for the dog, it wasn't even _my _dog! It was your dog!" Severus replied indignantly. _

"_Oh, come off it! Snuffles was as much your pet as he was mine!" Lily interjected crossly. _

"_I just mean I don't really cry about unimportant things," Severus explained. _

_Lily narrowed her eyebrows accusingly. _

"_Not that Snuffles death wasn't important! He was a brilliant dog…I suppose I should have cried at his funeral." Severus inserted swiftly, hoping this would appease her billowing annoyance. _

"_Yes, you should of. But you _did _give his eulogy so I suppose that has to count for something." Lily said reluctantly, awarding him a forgiving smile. _

"_So, what important thing would you cry about then, Sev?" She pressed, jumping down from the monkey bars and sitting on the swing next to him. _

_Severus thought about this for a moment. _

_"I would cry if you died." He said quietly._

"_Me die without you? As if!" Lily scoffed mischievously, "There is no way I'm dying first. We're dying together. I refuse to embark on such a daring adventure like death without you with me." _

"_Well, in that case, looks like I'll never have to cry," Severus stated cheerfully. _

_Lily laughed as she took hold of his swing and spun him around. _

Severus shook himself out of the memory. Lily had lied. She had left him here and had gone off to discover what death was without him. And true to his word, Severus had cried relentlessly. Even now a tear slipped down his cheek. Perhaps he did have a few more tears left to cry for her yet, he decided as the teardrop fell onto her grave. But he would be with her soon. The time was nearing when the two best friends would be united once more on an adventure through eternity. He may have never gotten the chance to say goodbye to her but Severus would be sure that he was the first to say hello again.

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><p><strong>Come on! Review! Do it for Snape and Lily!<strong>


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